The Matching Process: Throw Your Hands Up!

I’ve mentioned before that the Adoption Matching Process is like riding a roller coaster. This second time around that is certainly proving to be true. We have been presented with three birth mother situations so far. The first was in FL and she chose someone else two weeks ago.

In the second situation, I found the Coaster got more intense. Birth mother was located in NV and has TWINS on the way by c-section on October 15. We thought long and hard before agreeing to be presented in that one but felt that God was asking us to trust Him and move ahead. The ramifications if chosen were immense. We have been waiting for days to find out if we were going to be bringing home two newborns in less than two months. I’ve been jumping at every email that has come in, wondering if it’s our case worker letting us know birth mom chose someone else. This morning I received a call from our case worker. Time stood still for a few seconds as I saw who was calling, thinking that perhaps we had been chosen. However, I quickly learned that the situation is on hold as birth mother has not returned to view the profile books. It could come back online if she chooses to return. Phew! What a ride!

We’re now considering being presented to a birth mother in our own town in CO. That would be a very different situation than Jonathan’s but it could be really fun to be able to visit in person more often. It would certainly make the first few weeks more convenient as we transition to a family of four.

My emotions over the last few weeks have been all over the place. The twins situation really rocked my world. The thought of having twins in two months both terrified and excited me. It was a good reality check that there will most likely be a newborn (or two) joining our family in a fairly short amount of time. Mostly, the ride of the last week made me realize how much I desire to continue to grow our family and how dependent I am on God and others to do so.

Each adoption/birth mother situation is a different cost. We currently have saved the amount of money we paid three years ago for Jonathan’s adoption. However, we are seeing with these three situations that we’re still about $15-$20K short of the amount we will need. We can take out an adoption loan but would love to avoid as much debt as possible. We are SO thankful for the many people who have already contributed toward our adoption. It has been tremendously helpful! If you feel so led, you can donate at the link below or by sending us a check in the mail. Let me know if you need our address.

We are incredibly thankful for all of the emotional and relational support of our community. Thanks for being on this Roller Coaster of Matching with us. Here we go! “Throw your hands up!”

If you want to help support our adoption: Ben + Liz Adoption #2 GoFundMe Page

Adoption: 75% Funded, Matching Starting Soon!

Square Udall Family-55We are just trucking along! We hit the $30,000 mark in our funding last week thanks to several generous gifts from amazing friends. This means we are now 75% funded!! The actual amount we will have to pay for our adoption is different with each situation presented so we’re seeking to be prepared with $40,000 (we have seen that it can be more than this amount but more often less).

Since finishing our Home Study we have started to receive matches! These are emails that are sent to us from our agency (Adoption Choices of Colorado) with information about birth parents, medical history, substance exposure, baby due date, etc. We have to finish our Profile Book in order to respond to these. So, that’s our project for the week: Get the Profile Book done!

Once our Profile Book is done we will pray through and research each match presented to decide if we want to allow our book to be presented. Then our book will be shown to our potential Birth Mom (and Dad if he’s involved in the process) along with about four other families’ books. If chosen, we will sign a contract and pay our huge chunk of money ($35K – $45K). Then we wait for Baby to be born! The two possible matches we have seen so far had due dates of October 20 and July 29 so placement could happen quickly after we are chosen. It is also possible that it could be some time before we are chosen so we’re trying to prepare for anything.

We’re also seeking to prepare ourselves in other ways. We’ve started dreaming about nursery design and we’ve been realizing we need a few basic items – such as a car seat – just in case things go really fast. It’s becoming real! We’re also taking a four-day weekend to complete a landscaping project that we’ve been poking at for the past five years.

I am starting to allow myself to dream about holding our baby. It’s exciting and terrifying all at the same time. There’s still much to get done but not knowing how long we have to prepare makes planning tricky. Please pray for us about preparation and that we’ll be wise in allowing our Profile Book to be shown to the right Birth Mom(s) at the right time.

Thank you for being on the journey with us. We cannot adequately express how much the words of encouragement, listening ears, financial gifts, prayers, physical gifts, and shared tears have meant to us. We are thankful!

PS – If you’re considering giving toward our adoption, here’s the tax-deductible giving link: Adopt Together

Adoption Update: 1/2 to Fund Goal! + Next Steps

mountainI am so encouraged today. After a season of seemingly plateauing in the adoption process, we have made some great strides! Thanks to some generous friends and the selling of the company Ben works for, we are now a little over ½ of the way to our ultimate goal of $40K. This is incredible!! I have many personal journal entries from the past year, asking the Lord how in the world we would get to this giant number. He keeps reminding me that the He is able to move mountains – even even financial ones. By His grace, I’m clearly seeing that He is doing it!

We have now completed all of our Home Study meetings and will do a final review of our 25-page study this week. Once signed and filed our Home Study is done we are legally able to adopt.

What’s Next?

This summer we’re going to continue to prepare financially, emotionally, and spiritually for adoption. We will also be working on our official Profile Book (a photo book that introduces our family to potential Birth Moms). Our goal is to start matching in mid-August. The matching process takes an average of seven months. During this time, our Profile Book will be presented to potential Birth Moms along with several other families’ books. When we are chosen, we will be notified by our agency. We then decide if we want to move forward with the Match. Once we choose to move forward, we will pay the majority of the Adoption Cost at that time.

We can be matched at any time during our Birth Mom’s pregnancy (normally she is at least 20 weeks along). So, once matched, a time of waiting ensues. The culmination of the waiting is when Baby is born. Ideally, we will be at the hospital during their birth. The plan would be to receive Baby at that time. In Colorado our Birth Mom has two days to finalize her placement plan.

Once Baby is placed with us, we have follow up home visits with our caseworker. After six months, if all goes well, Baby becomes our child legally and is issued a new birth certificate with our names added as their parents.

So, there’s a journey ahead. There are many unknowns. I’m so thankful that I can trust our unknown future to a Known God. He is Faithful!

Adoption Fund – 1/3 of the Way!

Udall Family-20I have some exciting news to share today!! We are now 1/3 of the way to our Adoption Fund Goal of $30,000! A huge THANK YOU to everyone who gave toward this fund and helped to make this possible (you know who you wonderful people are). I am floored that we have gotten this far in the past nine months.

The current plan is to continue to aggressively save throughout the spring/summer and then start matching with prospective Birth Moms in the early Fall. That means while we’re working hard to save, we are progressing on finishing up our home study and finishing our Profile (photo book) that will be presented to prospective Birth Moms.

It’s still a big mountain to climb but I am so thankful that we follow the One who Moves Mountains. Thank you, friends, for all of your love and support through this process.

If you are interested in giving to our Adoption Fund, you can do that through our GoFundMe account for now. We hope to have a tax-deductible option after our home study is complete.

Ben + Liz Adoption Fund