Since announcing our Adoption (see We Are Adopting!) l have been faced with an invisible battle of worry and fretting. Our Bible Study group is going through a book called Undone by Michele Cushatt. It’s a great read. In the book Michele describes worry as a way of seeking control over the unknowns in our lives. That really resonated with me.
See, there are a lot of things I’m worrying about in the adoption process. There are so many unknowns. The big one is not knowing how long the process will take. It almost certainly won’t fit into the ‘normal’ 9-month time frame. In our case, we don’t know what part of the country our child will be from. We don’t know what race our child will be. We don’t know who his or her parents are. We don’t know what part of our child’s first days we’ll be a part of: Will we connect with our Birth Mom months before she goes into labor? Will we get to be there for our child’s birth? There are just a lot of unknowns.
Then there’s the Home Study process that can take up to 5 months and involves a dictionary-sized book of paperwork and multiple interviews that examine every aspect of our lives. At the end of this process we will be either approved or not approved to adopt. That’s intimidating.
There is also the creation of our Profile Book. This is the picture book that introduces who we are as a family to potential Birth Families. It’s our first introduction to our child’s Birth Parents and how they will initially chose us to adopt their Birth Child. And of course I want ours to be perfect.
There are a lot of things out of our control. Bring on the worry! … But God.
Today God interrupted my stream of worried thoughts and led me to read Psalm 37. He rocked my world with this Psalm. In this part of scripture He says things like: “Do not fret, it leads only to harm.” “Rest in the Lord and wait patiently for Him.” “Commit your way to the Lord, trust also in Him, and He will do it.”
Then I ran into this part: “When they stumble, they will never fall, for the Lord holds them by the hand.” Isn’t that a beautiful picture? As Ben and I walk into this season filled with unknowns He holds our hand. Like a Daddy with his toddler. When we hit the cracks in the sidewalk, we aren’t going to fall.
This Psalm is so rich with truth. Powerful truth that today has stopped the raging sea of worry within my soul and replaced it with Peaceful Trust. I know this battle of seeking control through worry vs. peaceful trust in God has only just begun. But I’m so thankful that today, the Lord used Truth to over come my worry. I am going to be visiting Psalm 37 often over the coming months. God is our Help in this process. He is Good. He is Faithful. He will do it!